So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
