Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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