She said her name was "party"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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