I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
