I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My vagina is very pro this idea
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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