did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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