So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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