My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
