When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
