Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
