i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
