I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there was a trapeze. enough said
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
