what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize