You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Enjoy the penises
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
