yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
