Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
