I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
