This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
