Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
