i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
