I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
