in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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