Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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