FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
