Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
