Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
