Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
