sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
