i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
