matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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