i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
