fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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