she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
