Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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