You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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