I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize