I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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