I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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