HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
