Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
