Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
