Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
