I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Two words: nipple clamps
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