do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
