If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
