my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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