just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
