Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
