in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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