Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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