I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
