I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
