god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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