Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
