i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
