Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
