I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
