we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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