The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize