Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
