I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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