y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
