I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
