I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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