Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
