My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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