Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
being pregnant is like rehab
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
