he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
