Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
