u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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