I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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